journeyintoslim

Strange new world, strange trip its been. Nothing changes yet everything is different. Not knowing how to be thin and adjusting to it, requires a great deal of patience and fortitude. Patience with yourself and others and fortitude of spirit.

It’s not so easy to let go of the life you knew and understood. Being thin for me has felt as if I woke up in a strange new planet. Parallel universe where I’m confused and bewildered by the roles that I now have been assigned to play. I don’t know how to be a thin person. The perks are good. But its hard to accept them just because you’re thin.

Society has created a very heavily guarded wall and you are not really suppose to ever cross it. It’s not only a sort of caste system measured by wealth and such but also a physical one as well. That’s the one I’ve crossed and the one I’ve had to learn to live in with comfort.

Having a new body whether larger or smaller turns it into a whole different ballgame. You’ve become a free agent and had to leave your old team. You don’t quite have a new one, and the old team no longer accepts you.

Since my weight loss of over 80 pounds when the conversation turns to food, diets, binging and I put in my two cents in no one wants to hear it. I get strange looks the “shut up skinny bitch look”. Now I know this look well I’ve given it enough myself. But now I’m the one getting it. I’m no longer a member of the club. I’ve lost my rights to speak on such matters. Losing that right with my close friends or people I meet that only know me thin and judge me by what they see is very difficult. In my mind I’m fat! My reaction to everything, my conditioning in this planet is that of a fat person. Therefore I am clueless as to how to react, behave in this strange new world.